I want to get on top of this chaos once and for all - it has got the better of me
I often hear clients talking in this way about their living space. There are assumptions about this - that we are now at the bottom of the dynamic - and need to climb up the side to get to the top and also that the top is going to be a good place to be. If we are then at the top, then our home is at the bottom - which in itself is odd. Why? Do we all have this desire to dominate and dictate?
And there is another assumption - that 'getting on top of things' i.e. power, is inherently good. Yet we also know that power
corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely. All too often we see this in action. All over the world the terrible and hideous consequences of this are seen when the Chief Executive dominates a company, failing to remember that the receptionist is most likely to be one of the most important people in the organisation. Governments drive their policies through in spite of everything. The results are that people lose their liberty to be, to think and to carry out their lives with dignity and respect. They become powerless as those 'in power' take over.
We are powerless over someone. Yes and No. We are powerless over the result of this interaction, for sure. That is in the hands of the divine but this does not stop us from interacting with them. With my clients, the dynamic is with them, I am their supporter. There is no power dynamic - merely a desire for them to be happier. Only they will know what works best for them.
Onwards to the last piece of this phrase - it has got the better of me - Are we saying that we have to be better than it/them - and we will climb over them/it to get to the finish quicker? Is this what we are doing in school sack races? Is this what motivates us? Yes, it is good to play with others to help us develop our own potential - but not at their ultimate expense. We may win the sack race - but be rubbish at egg and spoon. Good! It is about give and take. Rarely is someone going to be flawless. The fatal flaws are so important to all of our overall welfare. Good learning is about team work just as much as it is about individual development.
Darwin always thought it was about the survival of the fittest. We might see the lone treeasthestrongest. Butlookatthewaytreessurvive. Thefittesttreeisnot necessarily the tree that stands alone in a field. That tree has less support and no defence against the elements. Trees that stick together can help each other out by sharing resources through the mycelium threads. So the 'fittest' tree is in fact the one that is best connected. Not necessarily the biggest or the most dramatic. The more we understand all the different aspects of ourselves, the happier we will be.
Not only do we have to question our own thinking regularly, but we may have to go beyond our dualistic thinking. We attempt to have a simple solution to everything. Yes/No, Right/Wrong, Cluttered/Uncluttered Tidy/Untidy Messy/Neat.
With tidying and organising it is about developing a relationship between you and your belongings. Who is to say what is cluttered or decluttered? If a room is able to perform the function that it is meant to, then all is fine. How that room is configured is an individual's taste. Sometimes dear friends of those who are sorting and organising think it would be a good thing just to start again and get rid of everything. It doesn't work. It causes pain and distress.
In my work as a Konmari Consultant, I often find that it is about starting with small wins at the beginning, finding a way in to deal with it all. We start with clothes which is the simplest category to work with. Small wins gradually mellow into comfortable gains. The way through is to develop a relationship with all parts of your life and enjoy the dance. Have fun learning the jive, seeing how the Rumba works. Waltzing around the busy room can be fun and getting to know it a little better. You may create a new dance in the process - a Rumze? or a Jumba?
